Distance runners are often presented with complex challenges. We mull over our life’s obstacles mile after mile, letting our minds wander through the maze of our thoughts, and memories. Over hills, through forests, across bridges, and past farms, we give ourselves the space to solve our problems. Given enough time, we become increasingly creative and often produce some of our best ideas while out on the trail.

My biggest challenge as a distance runner is overcoming my fear of isolation. As I’ve become more interested in running, I’ve been steadily increasing my mileage. This puts me out on the streets of San Francisco with no one to talk to, no screen to watch, and often no music to listen to. At 5:30am when it’s cold and dark outside and running means I’ll be left to my own thoughts, leaving my them in dreamworld rather than reality is much more attractive.

Recently, I’ve been able to count myself lucky. I have a deep community around me who want to see me succeed in my passions. Right now, my passion is running marathons. So my friends and family have stepped up to the challenge of being my personal support crew. And it has been near magic. I’ve never been to a race alone, and along the course I always get to see their smiling faces and homemade signs. I’m filled with gratitude and love for the people cheering me on, but the most challenging part of supporting a runner is during training.

Running isn’t just about the race. That’s about 1% of it, and don’t get me wrong, it’s the most exciting part of runner there is. But there’s only one way to get to a race: training. The only way to improve your race time is to train. Right now, the only way to train is to get out of bed and run. This is the most challenging part of my running and the struggle is in overcoming my fears, making myself uncomfortable, and maintaining discipline in order to gain power and speed. Understanding the drive, and the sacrifice behind what a distance runner does is the most important part of supporting her. Distance running addictions are fierce, and often come between people. For myself, there’s not much that can come between me and my daily runs. It feels similar to a love affair, providing depth and lifelong companionship.

Truth is, understanding this drive, is understanding that distance runners aren’t just addicts of the run, they’re addicted to space. Space in a runner’s life can become the currency to a successful PR time, optimal health, community, friendship, and the coveted runner’s high. Space is the freedom to explore your mind and your body. It’s the physical distance covered during a training run. It’s the lengths your mind is willing to go in order to get you from the start of your run to the finish. It can be the difference between first and second. Supporting a runner is giving her the space to test her limits. However, this is a dance between non-runner and runner. Too much space creates an unsupportive environment. Too little can feel restrictive. The balance comes in believing the seriousness of the addiction and passion to run, and then helping to push her beyond what she considers her limits.

Supporting a distance runner is risky, but can only have positive results. I believe that the strongest bonds between people are built when they are both willing to jump in to attack the challenge. Successful distance runners owe a lot to themselves, their own drive, and their own ability to run. But they also have a lot to be grateful for from their silent supporters.

Above is an image of Adam Goucher as he helps his wife, Kara, walk through the finisher’s area after the NYC Marathon.